


Creation

by LangdonSnareMD



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Grief, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 08:46:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18735616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LangdonSnareMD/pseuds/LangdonSnareMD
Summary: Paul Stamets takes a moment after terraforming a planet to remember what has led him here.





	Creation

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written fanfiction before, nor have I ever posted my writings.  
> Sorry if tense is funny and sorry if the flow is poorly done. Also I don’t really know how to format stuff on here.  
> But I hope you enjoy!

They did it. A whole planet terraformed. Life pulsing, breathing in a once barren land. His forest restored to it’s beauty in a cosmic wonder. A genuine smile stretched across Paul Stamets’ face for the first time since his return from the mycelium network. The first time he’s felt content with himself in a long time.

Life, the creation of a sustainable system.

Finally, after all of this destruction and pain, Stamets had finally felt that this project was worth something.

Tilley appeared to his right, bouncing on her feet in excitement. “We’re re-stocking as we speak.” Her face glowed in tandem with the blue forest outside the containment field, bright eyes sparkling, twinkling with light.

Stamets nodded, watching the canisters being shuffled back and forth on loading carts to bring back to engineering. Red canisters changing blue. He thought back to the storage wall behind his station. One by one the lights blinking back from their full status. 

The last time they were full was before the 133 jumps, methodically depleting and being cast aside. They weren’t even stocked by the time they jumped to the mirror universe. Canisters still a strewn on the floor of engineering up to Hugh’s medical equipment. 

He couldn’t hide the pained sigh that escaped when he thought about Hugh. The last time Paul had saw him alive. A small smile turning his lips at the thought of a break from Discovery.

Paul had meant it. He would retire from Starfleet and take Hugh with him to see the galaxy on their own terms. He would give him starlight to take away the look of shame and fear that crossed his face when he realized Paul was hiding the side effects from him. A final memory of desecrating their honest vows.

Just another thing Paul failed to cultivate in the end.

“Lieutenant?”

Stamets looked over to Tilly who had a concerned look on her face. Eyes big as she made a small pout, gears turning as she battled on what to say. He gave her a nod to continue, reassuring her to communicate her feelings.

“I, uh, I just wanted to know how you’re doing…” She trailed, wringing her hands. “I mean, I know you’re not doing the best. You died and then woke up to this mess the captain…Lorca had put us in, but I know that…That between the jumps and your mirror counterpart essentially trying to get you to commit mass genocide and Commander Culber—“

Stamets pursed his lips at the sound of Hugh’s name. He ran his thumb across his knuckles anxiously as he thought of the dreamlike memory of Ash so quickly, so carelessly ending his love’s life. What thoughts were running through Hugh’s head in those last seconds? Paul bit his lip as he thought of the fear and confusion he must have felt. A needle was pushed into Paul’s chest thinking about how Hugh never got a real apology from him. His encounter in the mycelium network settled some of his guilt, but nevertheless, when Hugh was alive he took advantage of his patience, his caring nature. He wished he told him he didn’t have to be the brave one, for just once, let him be taken care of. That he was always the best person that he had ever met. That he would always remember him as his shining star that guided Paul on his path. His compass and conscience. How Hugh made him a better person.

Paul said he felt guilty about how he never showed Hugh how much he loved him, but now he regrets not being there for him in his death. He wished he was back in his quarters in the network told Hugh how much he was sorry and ho he appreciated everything he had done. To sit and listen to the damned opera music as he told Paul his worries and fear about death. To make him feel as if it wasn’t unfair that he was gone. Hugh seemed so at peace, but it wasn’t for himself; it was for Paul’s sake, to save the network and all of Discovery. 

“Lieutenant.” Tilly touched his arm ever so gently to break Stamets from his thoughts. He didn’t notice how tears were ready to fall from his eyes or how he stopped rubbing his knuckles and moved up towards his implants instead.

Paul swiped at his eyes, “I’m sorry Cadet, I didn’t mean to space out like that.”

Tilly chewed on her bottom lip before taking one his hand away from his forearm. “You don’t have to keep it in.”

His eyes traveled from his forearm to his subordinate. Tilly had no poker face, her emotions playing across her face as quickly as she had them. He gave her a well-mannered smile. “Soon enough, Cadet, but now is not the time. The spores need to be harvested from the planet and—”

“Hugh would have been proud of you.”

Paul all but squeaked, mouth still agape as he stared Tilly. “W-what?”

“He would have been so proud of what you’ve done on this planet.” She continued, looking out the containment field. “I mean, terraforming a desolate moon with a single crop. Creating life and hope where there was none. I bet that’s what Hugh loves about you, bringing hope and life to a place that one would never have thought there to be.”

Inside, his chest burst. A fist circled his heart and squeezed with all it’s might. The tears that threatened to fall cascaded unrestrained down Paul’s face. He clenched jaw to stop his lips from trembling and balled his hands into fists to stop their shaking.

Tilly gave him a sad smile, brushing her curls back before placing her hands over one of his. “I know I’m just a Cadet who doesn’t know when to shut up, but I think he would want you to know that. That you’ve created light where people only thought was dark and that he would be so proud of what you’ve done here.”

All at once, Paul remembered through his grief and anguish within the mycelium network that Hugh was there to guide him back home, to remind him that he did have purpose. Hugh helped him to remember that he couldn’t give up, his journey wasn’t done.

Tilly pat the back of his hand twice before beginning to retract them back to his sides. Just as she let go, Paul wrapped her into a tight hug. At first, the Cadet was surprised at the display before returning the hug with the same amount of force. She thought it better not to comment on how he shook in her arms.

“Thank you.” Paul mustered through his gritted teeth, trying not to full on sob into his subordinates shoulder. She tightened her grasp. “Thank you, Tilly.”

As they separated and composed themselves, Paul had to admit, that even with the leaps and falls that this path has taken him on, that he has created hope. He’s created the best type of hope, one that Hugh would have loved to see grow and be nurtured within Tilly. A hope for a new generation.


End file.
